Understanding and Combating Bullying: What You Should Know

Bullying is an age-old problem. Its effects hurt everyone, from those who are bullied, those who bully, and those who witness it.

Bullying can harm our mental health, and its consequences can be long-lasting. Research shows childhood bullying can lead to mental health issues like depression, anxiety, and self-harm well into our adult years. So, it’s important to talk to kids to determine whether bullying—or something else—is a concern. 

This October, National Bullying Prevention Month raises awareness to prevent bullying and promote kindness, inclusivity, and respect for everyone. Dr. Jacqueline Hidalgo, PsyD, a psychologist with Lee Health, helps us understand bullying and its impact, and how we can work together to help prevent it.

What Is bullying?

Dr. Hidalgo defines bullying as when someone purposely and repeatedly threatens, attacks, or hurts another person.

“This behavior often involves an imbalance of power, where the bully may be physically stronger, more popular, or possess embarrassing information about their target,” Dr Hidalgo explains. “This power difference makes bullying particularly harmful, leaving victims feeling trapped and powerless.”

During the 2021-2022 school year, about 19.2 percent of students ages 12-18 enrolled in grades 6-12 experienced bullying, according to government statistics.

Types of bullying

Bullying takes different forms. Dr. Hidalgo outlines four primary types:

• Physical bullying: This includes hurting someone physically or damaging their belongings. “This behavior can include hitting, kicking, spitting, and pinching,” Dr. Hidalgo says. “It can also include tripping, pushing, and breaking or taking someone’s things.”  
• Verbal bullying: This involves using hurtful words, such as name-calling and threats. “It also includes making inappropriate sexual comments and teasing someone.”
• Social bullying: This type focuses on harming someone’s reputation or relationships. Dr. Hidalgo says, “Social bullying includes leaving someone out on purpose, telling other children not to be friends with them, spreading rumors or untrue statements about them, and embarrassing them in public.”
• Cyberbullying: This occurs online, using social media or messaging apps to bully someone. “Cyberbullying can be more anonymous and can occur almost constantly, unlike with traditional bullying,” Dr. Hidalgo says.

Recognize the signs of bullying

Several warning signs may suggest that someone is involved in bullying, either as a victim or perpetrator. The first step in dealing with bullying is to acknowledge the warning signs. Some children who are bullied or bully others don't seek help.

“Also, not all children who are bullied show warning signs,” Dr. Hidalgo says. 

The following signs that may suggest a bullying problem: 

• Sudden changes in a child’s behavior, like becoming sad or irritable
• Reluctance to go to school or participate in activities
• Isolating from friends or family
• Physical complaints, such as headaches or stomach aches
• Clinging to trusted adults for support

“These signs can indicate distress, so it’s essential for parents and caregivers to be observant and responsive,” Dr Hidalgo notes. “These warning signs can also point to other issues or problems, such as depression or substance abuse. Having a conversation with the child may help identify the source of the problem.”

Long-term effects on mental health

The effects of bullying can extend well beyond childhood, Dr. Hidalgo says. 

“The emotional scars of bullying can affect a child’s ability to connect with others. Some children may struggle with self-esteem and find it challenging to form healthy relationships with friends, peers, and teachers. Being bullied also makes a person feel incredibly insecure. A bullied child or young person can feel constantly insecure and always on guard.”

She adds, "Even if they aren't currently being bullied, they know it could happen at any moment. The impact is profound on their mental and emotional state—they feel rejected, isolated, angry, and withdrawn.”

Creating a safer school environment

Schools play a crucial role in preventing and addressing bullying. Dr. Hidalgo emphasizes the need to foster safe relationships among students and staff. 

She suggests schools can use several strategies for combatting bullying, including:

• Education: Teach teachers, staff, and students about the dynamics of bullying.
• Resources: Provide mental health support and counseling.
• Consequences: Implement clear consequences for bullying to reinforce that it is unacceptable.
• Participation: Engaging parents through workshops can also help them understand how to support their children and create a united front against bullying.

How to support a child experiencing bullying

If a child confides in a parent about being bullied, Dr. Hidalgo advises that parents should listen actively and validate their feelings. Sharing personal stories can empower children and reassure them they are not alone in their experiences. 

“Encouraging open communication with trusted adults is vital,” she says. “This support can help children feel safe and understood.”

Advice for witnesses of bullying

Witnessing bullying can be distressing for bystanders. Dr. Hidalgo encourages those who see bullying to take action if they feel safe doing so. 

“If you see bullying, say something—distract or intervene if you can,” she advises. “If the situation seems dangerous, seeking help from a trusted adult is crucial. Being a passive bystander doesn’t help the situation and can even reinforce the bullying behavior.”

Coping strategies for victims

According to Dr. Hidalgo, kids should avoid fighting or retaliating against bullying. 

“Things can quickly spiral out of control, resulting in violence, trouble, and harm,” she says. “The best approach is to leave the situation, spend time with others, and confide in a trusted adult. Sharing your experiences can reduce feelings of isolation.”

If you’re being bullied, here are some strategies to improve the situation and make yourself feel better:

• Tell an adult you trust. Bullying can be prevented with the help of teachers, principals, parents, and lunchroom personnel at school.
• Stay away from bullies and stick to the buddy system. Make sure there is someone with you to avoid being isolated with the bully. Make sure to buddy up with a friend wherever the bully is - on the bus, in the hallways, or at recess.
• Don't let anger take over. It's normal to get upset when confronted by a bully, but that's exactly what they want. It makes them feel more powerful. Be strong, leave the situation, and don't acknowledge the bully. This can be difficult, but it takes practice.
• Talk about it. Reach out to someone you trust, like a guidance counselor, teacher, sibling, or friend. They might have some helpful suggestions. It might not solve the problem but can make you feel less alone.

Resource: Adapted from Nemours KidsHealth

The roles of social media and technology

In today's digital age, social media plays a significant role in bullying. Dr. Hidalgo points out that “anonymity can embolden bullies, making it harder to identify them.” However, technology can also be used positively, promoting kindness and support. Encouraging positive online behavior can help create a safer digital environment for everyone.

Community involvement

Dr. Hidalgo encourages communities to raise awareness during National Bullying Month by starting conversations about bullying. 

“Talk about it. Share approved posts on social media and engage with local schools to learn about their initiatives,” she says. “Community support is essential in creating a culture that doesn’t tolerate bullying. Everyone can help create safer environments. Awareness and communication are essential in combating bullying.”